Grisaille et trip-hop...

Bourrasques de pluie à l’horizon. Orage dans l'air. Des mots qui s’empoussièrent. Des mots pour un autre, dans une autre langue. Des songes qui énervent mes nuits. Voilà ta fête est passée! Toi, passes-tu par là, comme parfois je regarde par là-bas? I had some thoughts just for you the other day. But instead of feeling like connecting, a story of shadows has come out. What should I do? I forget, no matter what, I ‘ll forget how much pain you created in my soul…


This year, once more, I’m not whishing you anything. I won’t let the anger loose. But I can feel the darkness inside. I’ll never understand how "Love" can mutate and hurt so bad. It’s a human story, or something like that. Another year will come by, we’ll get further apart, can you see the ridge growing between us? It’s as deep as the river of my tears. I left the dark light of your aura and what’s left in my heart is only sorrow. I understand too much or too little, one way or the other, it still hurts. Do you think sometimes about us? My anger is so strong, there’s not much to do about it. Love-Hate, the line between those emotions is pretty thin when I think of you. And if I think too long about it, it makes me shiver, from the inside out, until I wanna puke my guts out. Ten years to the drain. It sucks like hell. Is this for the best? Can you trash an heart for the greater good? Too many lies and deceptions, too much pain in our heads. You’re at the edge of my thoughts, and in this month of May, as usual, you can get the hell away! You can sperm out as many kids as you feel. I don’t give a f… anymore. Ok, that’s not entirely true, but it’ll do!

I gave you too much of my soul, it’s my fault, I know. I won’t do it again. Was the little lost girl of my teenage years too naïve. Certainly so. I felt like a feather flowing alone in the urban wind. Irony follows me. Someday, I wanna write a book about that. Ironies of life. Ironies that can make life a Bitch, isn’t it so? Where is the truth my lovely dear?

I never went back to the city. I know you stole some of my dreams. So much I shared with you. Too much, i know. I'm not tied up enough. I tried to enter your mind. It’s my fault, I kind of know. I learned. I grew. I still know how much of a thief you can be. And you stole some of me with that part you destroyed inside. I’m still angry for it. But do you care? I married first, i needed a new start. True. But was it easy to embrace those two? Those two you said you despised for the evil they harboured inside. How long until the contamination is final?

You can hide, you can run, you can smile. Remind me again. How can a coward outwit the pains of life? You brought ice into my heart, I got stabbed too many times. I’m still sad. Rainy days, a flow of words to nowhere. Youth and memories in that other language that is not mine…